Be honest about your current financial situation. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author, Blending Families. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them. Carry your fair share of the workload. Make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship.
The National Foundation for Credit Counseling NFCC recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances. Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills. If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming. Be fair, even in an argument. Call when you say you will. Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others. Don't hide income or debt. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. Carry your fair share of the workload. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. Do what you say you will do. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. Call to say you'll be home late. Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others? You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie. Be sensitive to the other's feelings. Be honest about your current financial situation. Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life. Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says.
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